What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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