The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

Weaner

What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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