In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

thumb_up thumb_down -1

John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

there was a black guy and white guy, they were walking down a street to da bus stop, the bus comes by and says where yall goin and they say 21st avenue street; so they walk away and the black guy says(in a black voice): "wait buses dont talk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops