Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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