Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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