How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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