Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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