How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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Donald Trump

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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12 in general

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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