how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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