What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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