What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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