The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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a man checks his mypsace

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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