Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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people magazine

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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