There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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