what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops