Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops