A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Gustavo Andrade

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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