You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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