Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

thumb_up thumb_down

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

thumb_up thumb_down

A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

thumb_up thumb_down

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

thumb_up thumb_down

Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

i'm hard

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yes

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops