Don't believe in Atheists.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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Why are reading anti-jokes so funny? Im not sure, i just read them and laughter ensues.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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