How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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