guess what? WHAT? Idk.

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

how much fish could a chicken

What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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