Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops