A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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i dont fisish anythi

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Every 60 seconds In Africa......... A minute passes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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