What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi AKSDNFK;SANFKANSDFLJNASDKFNASLDFN VOOL?

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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Denard Robinson

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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