How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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