If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why did the black man get stuck to the ceiling? Because he was spiderman.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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