Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops