Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

Jimmy Saville

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

So a man walks into a bar... ouch

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

12 in general

Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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