what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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