How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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