What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Weaner

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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