Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...