What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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