Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Chuck Norris.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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