In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops