knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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a man checks his mypsace

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops