Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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