What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...