How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops