What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

whats worst then dieng in a videogame

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

what's brown and sticky? A Stick

Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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