Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

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Yo Momma So Fat!

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

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whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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