how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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This isn't funny.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Gay rights.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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