A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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guess what? bannanas

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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