What separates man from animal? Divorce.

Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

What is yellow and bright? The sun.

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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