How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops