if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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