Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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