Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between males and females? fe

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Its open.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

you will like this because i am black.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops