What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Sarah Palin.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Wow! I've seen this joke before!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

are you saying pam, or pan?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

no.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

thumb_up thumb_down -23

It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats long and black on a black guy slavery

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops