what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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Dead girls can't say no.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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