What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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