Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops