A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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the economy.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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