What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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The Labour Party.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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Anyone can post anything.

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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