Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops