what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops