How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops