How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

thumb_up thumb_down -9

*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops