What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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