Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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