What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

Mom, how do you make babies? When a daddy and mommy love each other very much... They play with trains and tunnels!(Yay!)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...