Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

knock knock Goodbye

why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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