Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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