How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

Cripples are lame.

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

What rhymes with milk...milf

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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