Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops